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It sometimes seems that bathing has become a lost art among the technically-minded. That’s a real shame, because there’s no reason you can’t program hidden Markov models and also smell like a bed of roses. Here’s some basic advice to get you smelling fresh again.

This is a companion to Bathing Tips for the Smelly Masses. It was a little long to leave in the main article. Its lessons are nonetheless important if you are thinking about going down the dangerous path of colognes and perfumes.

Here’s the deal: I’m judging you based on appearances, and so is everyone else. Not only is it happening, but I argue that it should happen, that it’s right to judge people based on appearances. It doesn’t matter if you think it’s unfair, or you think I’m a cold-hearted ass. You can get up in arms if you want, but it won’t affect anything.