This is a companion to Bathing Tips for the Smelly Masses. It was a little long to leave in the main article. Its lessons are nonetheless important if you are thinking about going down the dangerous path of colognes and perfumes.
Once you’ve effectively rid yourself of the bulk of your natural fragrances, you might be interested in trying a cologne or some kind of other artificial fragrance. Colognes and such can be acceptable (even good) in small amounts. You must use a high-quality cologne, though. Axe and such need not apply.
How to Pick a Quality Cologne
Picking a good cologne is as simple as eliminating all the bad ones. There are two major techniques to eliminate bad colognes. The first is to check the price. Cheap colognes are universally bad. I don’t care if it says it’s supposed to smell like Hugo Boss. It doesn’t. And don’t try to convince yourself that you can tell. Price has a way of swaying our decisions. Besides, you couldn’t even tell that you smelled bad in the first place. Buy an expensive cologne from a department store.
The second way to eliminate bad colognes is to ask. If you’re not sure about a cologne, put some on and ask people what they think. You can even use the tester in the store to “try before you buy.” If it smells good, people will tell you so. If not, they’ll tell you that it’s “okay.” That means no.
Do not ask the lady working the cologne counter whether a cologne smells good, though. She’ll tell you it smells good no matter what. She’s working on commission. Besides, inhaling all that airborne cologne killed her sense of smell years ago.
Light Cologne Use is Best
How much cologne should you use? One squirt of a high-quality cologne is almost always okay. Two squirts might be okay. More than two squirts might very well cause you to pick up a different type of funk. Too much of a good thing, in this case, is definitely a bad thing.
Always err on the side of less. If your cologne is particularly strong, and you don’t know if you might be using too much, just ask people again. If people can smell you before you enter the room, they’ll probably tell you so, as long as you ask first.
Rules and Regulations
You should never, ever, ever, use cologne as a cover-up for body odor. The only thing worse than terrible body odor is terrible body odor mixed with cologne. Until you’ve fully resolved any smell issues you have, you may not use any kind of cologne.
I have one more tip about cologne. Don’t mix fragrances. Never put on two different types of cologne, and never put on an aftershave that has a different scent than the cologne. Trust me, they do not mix well.
Good Luck and Good Smell
With these tips, you’re prepared to enter the world of cologne. Remember, though, less is more. And if you’re not sure, just ask.
Here’s the deal: I’m judging you based on appearances, and so is everyone else. Not only is it happening, but I argue that it should happen, that it’s right to judge people based on appearances. It doesn’t matter if you think it’s unfair, or you think I’m a cold-hearted ass. You can get up in arms if you want, but it won’t affect anything.
I’m not talking about race or gender, though I’ll touch on that at the end. I’m talking about your outward appearances. Your clothing. Your style. Maybe your hair.
Judging Book Covers
I can already hear the voice of dissent: “Don’t judge a book by its cover.” Well, I do judge books based on their covers, and so do you. When you walk into the bookstore, there are thousands of books, with hundreds (at least) in any given section. You can’t tell me that you look through every single Sci Fi book, or every single mystery book, before you decide what to buy. The sheer number of books would be overwhelming if you tried to “properly” evaluate every one. So you optimize. You look at covers. You read the titles. Out of the hundreds of books, you might pick up half a dozen, at most, and glance through them. You pick up maybe one percent to actually look through, probably even less than that.
Well, the same rules apply to people. We interact with too many people to really get to know them all. We optimize and judge based on appearances, just like we do with books. Go ahead and deny it if you want. You can cling to an idea of “fairness” that requires that everyone be judged based on “who they are” if that’s what you want. But it’ll make you a hypocrite. Just like you have to judge books based on their covers, purely as an optimization, you also have to judge people on appearances. You don’t have the time to get to know everyone. Even if you did, they wouldn’t all have the time.
Who Judges You Based on Appearances
Want to know who’s judging you based on appearances? I can tell you:
- Potential employers
- Current employers
- Coworkers
- Potential mates
- Current mates
- Friends
- Waiters/Waitresses
- Everyone you know
- Everyone you don’t know
Potential mates are evaluating your appearances before they even know your name. Employers are judging your appearances from the instant you walk in the door. Waiters are deciding what you’re likely to tip based on your clothes. Even strangers on the street are sizing you up as they walk past you: “Geek,” “Frat boy,” “Suit.” They’re judging you based on appearances, based on your clothes, your hair.
Even your current friends are judging your appearances constantly. You don’t believe me? You think that maybe my friends might judge me, but your friends would never judge you based on how you look? Okay, go dye your hair neon green. You’ll get some comments. They might tell you that you look great — more likely they’ll tell you that you look like an idiot — but you can bet they’re going to notice. If they weren’t judging you based on appearances, why would they care? Why would they even notice? If you think your girlfriend, coworkers, and employer are any less judgemental than your friends, you’re crazy.
Why People Judge You Based on Appearances
Aside from the fact that there are so many people that judging people becomes a necessity, there’s one other basic reason why people judge your appearances. It’s the same reason that I say it’s good to judge based on appearances.
You choose what appearance to present.
If you’re wearing a suit, you chose to put on that suit. If you’re wearing torn jeans and a “witty” t-shirt that’s worn around the neck, you chose to put on those clothes. You picked out what you’d put on for the day. Why wouldn’t I judge you based on your choices?
If you wear a baseball cap and everyday clothes to an interview, your potential employer is going to assume that either you’re an idiot, or you don’t really care. In either case, you’re not who they want. If you’d worn a suit, you’d appear as if you cared. You’d look like a professional.
If you’re a guy with long hair, it says something about you. Depending on how groomed it is, it might say you’re laid back, or it might say you’re lazy and a slacker. I’m not telling you to cut your hair. I’m just saying that it’s sending out a message. You are sending out a message.
Your Appearance Says Who You Are
Your clothes tell others who you are. If you’re dressed like a college frat boy, and you’re trying to pick up some girl at the bar, she’s going to notice how you’re dressed. Depending on your age, and whether the girl in question wants to date a frat guy, it might help or hurt your chances, but she’s going to notice. If she doesn’t want a frat guy, you’re going to be dismissed out of hand. If she does want a frat guy, I hope you’re not wearing that same worn-out, anime t-shirt I saw you in last week. That shirt marks you as a geek.
Your clothes might mark you as a geek, a frat guy, a suit, a sorority girl, a free spirit, a lackey, or a goth. You better believe they mark you, though.
The Clothes Don’t Make the Man, They Make the Promotion
Everyone’s heard a story about some guy who got promoted because he dressed the part, while another guy who did all the work got left behind. I’ll admit, that’s not entirely fair. Fair isn’t the way the world works, though. If you don’t have a really great manager, he’s probably going to have trouble telling who’s really doing the most work. He’s going to rely at least partly on appearances. The guy in the suit simply looks more productive than the guy in the stained jeans, even if that’s not the case. You can hate this if you want, but it’s not going to help anything. You’re better off competing than crying foul and removing yourself from the game.
If everyone at your work is wearing a suit, and you want to compete, you should probably wear a suit, too. I know, suits are expensive. If you’re working in an environment where everyone else is wearing a suit, though, you can probably afford to wear suits, too. You decide whether it’s worth the money.
Remember, you pick your clothes. You decide what appearance you want to present. When people judge your appearances, they’re judging decisions that you made. They’re judging you based on what you choose to advertise.
What You Shouldn’t Worry About
There are aspects of your appearance that you probably shouldn’t worry about. Basically, don’t worry about the things beyond your control. Your race is irrelevant. Now, I’m not saying that your race isn’t being judged. It most certainly is. However, you can’t do anything about it in the day-to-day, so you might as well deal with it. The same with your gender. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t fight against serious discrimination when you can prove it. I’m just saying that you shouldn’t get your panties in a bunch just because some jackass’s personal opinion of you suffers because you’re black. There’s little you can do to get Mr. Hitler on your side, so I wouldn’t bother. You’re probably better off avoiding that frustration and improving other areas of your life.
You also shouldn’t worry about it if you can’t afford to spend a lot of money on clothes. I certainly think that buying higher-quality clothes is a plus, and the quality of your clothes certainly says things about you. However, the effort you put into your clothes matters more. If I’m an interviewer, and I’m comparing a guy in a Calvin Klein suit to a guy in a suit from Target, the guy in the expensive suit might look a little better. However, both look a lot better than the guy in jeans. The fact that you’re wearing a suit at all matters more than the expense. The guy in the cheap suit still looks better than the guy in Abercrombie jeans. It’s not just about cost.
Of course, cheap doesn’t always have to look cheap. Shop around. Also, those suits from Target don’t look half bad.
Importance of Factors Other Than Appearance
All this attention to appearances should not be taken to mean that other factors do not matter. A good boss will notice your suit and the high quality work you do. A good mate will appreciate your clothes and your personality. Still appearances are important, particularly before people get to know you. First impressions are very much based on appearances, so don’t sell yourself short. Don’t dampen your wonderful personality by dressing like a boor. The people who you should really want to impress are going to judge more than just your appearances, but even they are not blind to your clothes. If you want to impress, put a high-gloss ankle boot forward.
Based on the responses to the 9 resume tips (and the bonus tips), lots of people really don’t want to hear that they are being judged based on what they show the world. I doubt those people are going to like this post much, either. I’m not going to try to keep everyone happy, though.
If the 9 tips made me responsible for starving diabetics to death, then this post is probably going to cause an outbreak of the plague. Get your penicillin ready.
What do all productive people have in common? They’ve all followed the same simple advice we’ve heard over and over: Do something you love. It sounds so simple that it hardly seems worth mentioning, but it’s absolutely fundamental to productivity. Look at all the people you know who are unproductive. What’s the primary thing they have in common? Most likely, they all hate, or at least don’t care about, what they do for a living. Now look at all the most productive people you know. They all love what they do.
Doing What You Love
If you love cleaning, you’re going to have a spotless house. If you don’t love it, the best you’ll ever get is clean, never spotless. You won’t excel unless you truly love it. I know what you’re thinking. Suzie from work has a spotless house, and she says she hates to clean. Well, Suzie’s holding a secret from you. Either she actually has a maid, or she doesn’t hate to clean. She might say she does, but what she really means is, “I don’t enjoy cleaning very much, but I absolutely love having a clean house.” If Suzie loves having a clean house enough, then she will put forth the effort to get it done. It’s not hate for cleaning that has her scrubbing stains off the bathroom grout. It’s love.
You might think that nearly everyone loves to have a clean house, but that’s not true. Most people like having a clean house. If they loved it, they’s put forth the same effort that Suzie does. Liking a clean house will get you an occasional straightening-up, and a monthly mopping.
A careful reader might note here that Suzie still doesn’t like cleaning. She just likes, or rather loves, having her house clean. That brings us to an important corollary to the first rule of productivity.
No One Loves Doing Anything
With the exception of a few primal activities and urges, this rule is very nearly universal. You might not believe this, but just bear with me.
No one loves activities. They love results.
Linux fans don’t love using Linux. They love it when they get something to work. They love the feeling of accomplishment. Likewise, programmers don’t love to code. They love the final product. Programming can be extremely tedious at times, like most jobs, but the outcome is worth it if you love the outcome enough. If you know someone who claims to love programming for its own sake, ask him how much he loves it after a full day of unsuccessful debugging. You’ll get a very different answer. You might also witness a psychotic break first hand.
Similarly, great managers don’t love the day to day activities of managing. Instead, they love the payoff, a well-oiled machine. Some love the money or power, but those aren’t great (read: productive) managers.
Competition embodies the love of results. Love of activities doesn’t spur on sports. It’s the love of winning, of accomplishing something grand. It’s not a love of golf that makes Tiger Woods one of the best. Even casual golfers are trying for results. They are trying to improve their games. If it was really about just taking a leisurely afternoon, they wouldn’t get upset when they come in way over par, nor would they be elated when they shave two strokes off their best.
It is possible to be productive at something you simply don’t care about if you love the money enough, but it’s hard. You have to really love money. You have to love money just as much as the truly productive guys love the results. It’s generally much easier to just find something else you love, and find a way to make money at that.
So, what’s the lesson we can take from this corollary? Basically, the lesson is that effectively, Suzie does love to clean. Since no one loves activities, and everyone loves results, it makes no sense to talk about hating an activity if you love the results. If you truly love the results, they you’ll perform the activity, and you’ll probably be good at it.
Use The Rule
Rather than fighting with this, use it to your advantage. If you want to really be great at something, to truly be productive, your best bet is to ether: find something else to do (something that you do love), or find a way to love what you already do. The second option can be a pretty difficult task. I’d recommend the first when possible. Finding something you love isn’t always easy, but it’s certainly rewarding.
For those things you need to do, but just don’t love, you can either accept that you won’t do your best, or you can try to learn to love it. Find the little things about it that make you happy. Do you have to fill out paperwork constantly? Don’t think about how tedious that tenth report is. Instead, remind yourself that doing the work in a high-quality and timely fashion reflects well on you. Think about how good it will feel to be done with all the paperwork for today. Try to find the positives, and focus on those. Or try to effect a change, if you’ve got an idea for how to fix the problem. It’s about focusing on the positive.
Do you need to get in shape, but don’t enjoy exercise and dieting? Don’t concentrate on how hungry you are, how tasty that pie would be, or how boring you find running on the treadmill to be. Think about how good it will be to look at the scale and see another pound gone. Think about how loose your pants have gotten a month into your diet. Find things you love about what you’re doing. If you overlook the positive in favor of the negative, you’re more than likely going to find yourself buying larger pants next month, not smaller.
Successful dieters don’t hate to diet, in spite of what they might say. They love it. That’s what separates successful dieters from the unsuccessful ones. The unsuccessful ones don’t love the results enough to pass up the raspberry-drizzled chocolate torte. The successful ones would rather shave another half pound off their weight than have dessert. If you want to be one of the successful ones, then learn to love it.
If you want to be successful, if you want to be productive, do what you love. Either find something new that you can love, or learn to love what you’re already doing.
Yesterday I submitted my 9 resume tips to Reddit (post). I was unprepared for the onslaught of traffic. My traffic jumped from about zero visitors the day before to something like 9000 in only a few hours. For the most part, the server handled it. There were a lot of comments (some good, some bad), but overall, I felt that the post was well-received. I even made it to the front page of Del.icio.us Popular for a while.
Once all the hubbub died down today, I hoped to put up a new post. Most of the day, I was busy with interviews. This afternoon, however, I had some personal downtime, so I thought I’d get something posted. Unfortunately, my blog had some downtime, too. The “9 tips” post made it to the front page of Digg News (post). The Digg traffic absolutely dwarfed the Reddit traffic. My host (Bluehost) has a 20% CPU limit which they were unwilling to lift, even temporarily, so my site was up and down (mostly down) for several hours. Still, even with the server going up and down, the site took in over 15000 visitors, not including the masses that received the “server down” message. The post finally slipped onto the second page, and my site came back up.
I have a request of the new readers: If you’ve got a host you love, please let me know. And let me know what kind of hosting plan you’ve got. I’ve contacted a couple of other bloggers to see what they recommend, but I’m interested in all the input I can get. I can’t really afford a dedicated server, and honestly, I don’t think I need it. I just want a host who can (and is willing to) bear me through any more traffic spikes. I don’t want my site going down every time I manage to post something that people like. It might never happen again, but I’d rather be prepared, just in case. It may turn out that I just have to move to a more expensive package (with Bluehost or elsewhere), but I want to hear others’ experiences first.
I’ll try to get back to my regular updating now. Thanks, and welcome, to all the new readers. I hope you enjoy what you’ve read so far, and I hope you’ll enjoy what I post in the future. (Topping the “9 tips” is going to be hard.)
I’m also always open for reader suggestions/comments/whatever. Please, feel free to leave a comment on any post, or email me, if you prefer.
I’ve already posted 9 obvious resume rules. Here’s four more “bonus” rules, that might not be quite as obvious.
- Do not fax. Faxed resumes look horrible. They are harder to read, and when you send it in upside down (and therefore the page numbers are upside down), we’ll make fun of you. It also seems to advertise that you’re uncomfortable with email, whether it’s really the case or not. No one should want to give that impression. Emailing your resume makes it much easier to transfer around internally. Keeping your prospective employer happy is always a good thing. My personal preferences for resume submission are:
- Regular mail
- Dropped off in person
- Carrier pigeon
- Tied to a brick and tossed through the window
- Faxed
- Pick up the phone. No one calls. No one. If you just take five minutes to call and express interest in the job, you’ll greatly set yourself apart from the masses. Ostensibly, you’re just calling to make sure we “got your resume” or something else innocuous, but in reality, you’re calling to say hello, and get your name stuck in my head. And that’s a good thing. It shows motivation, which counts a lot more than listing “self-motivated” as a skill.
- Respond courteously. If you are lucky enough that the company puts forth the effort to let you know that your resume was received, you need to say thanks. Much like calling, this distinguishes you from the masses. Everyone who emailed in a resume during this last search was sent a “resume received, under consideration”-type email in return. Only two actually took the time to say “Thanks, hope to hear from you.” Both got bumped up in the queue, and one was selected for an interview.
- Go above and beyond. Rules two and three are simple examples of this, but if you can think of anything that’ll really wow us (in a good way), do it. Don’t show up wearing an I-wanna-work-here sandwich board. That’s bad wow. Good wow is mailing your resume on 100% cotton paper along with 3 sealed and signed letters of recommendation, like one applicant did. Yes, something like that is a little different and surprising, but it’s also impressive. It worked. She got an interview.
I’m all recommended out now, but we’ll be going through a bunch of interviews shortly, so maybe there’ll be some new tips shortly.
